Last year, I once made a ‘predilection’ that Supreme Commander Obama had conspired with the world’s top 1% to construct gigantic starships, crucifixing the already deteriorating debt-to-GDP ratio worth hundred trillion dollars, and triggering a global cataclysm in economic sector. Meanwhile, Roland Emmerich predicted that Los Angeles would end up ‘pieces of cake’, that the Earth’s core would devour Las Vegas (more like a parable of morality), that Indonesia will ‘remain sweet memories’, and Africa ‘will be our new cape of hope’. Then, more lousily, Supreme Master Ching Hai, the identity-crisis-laden zoomorphic activist (she once wrote, and even pictured by her own, an illustration book containing species of animals with her face in these bodies) who colors her hair blonde to look more like a Nordic alien than a motherly goddess, forewarns the melting ice poles by the year of 2012. Then there were a plethora (but still an iota compared to global blogging community) bloggers, of anonymous existence, who had preconceived the notion of ‘Dajjal’, which would rebuild the glory of Solomon’s dream, and rule the whole world. Then these Christian extremists who dreamt of a Jesus-ruled China (as many as 1000 of them had been captured).
This is, for sure, a good start to write pulp-fiction scripts! They, just like Emmerich, had successfully ‘provoked’ the entire world into an abyss of fear. Or maybe we need a special talent show to filter those Emmerichs.
Believe it or not, ‘doomsday’, rather than a neologism of ultimate destruction of the mankind, has now turned out to be, paradoxically speaking, a very profitable industry. Even in times of recession, doomsday industry (somehow this should be classified a new economic field in our GDP composition) reaches its climax. How many writers, having inked over dozens of 2012-apocalypse books (mostly based on what-I-hear-not-what-I-experience observation), strike it rich? How many readers have they succeeded to motivate to dread? I can bet, there is, and always is, an abundance of such Baedeker in my hometown’s bookstores (they even top the ‘best-selling’ list). Local authors – pardon me, many of them are Muslim extremists – frequently compile information that they ‘read and know’, not ‘experience and feel’, into books, those of which you could find striking verisimilitude when you open the page of others. Then there are ‘professors’, mainly from United States, who predict the age of Satanism will come and ‘make the whole world a stygian pig den’. They opinionate, as in my viewpoint, more like right-wing Christian fundamentalists than as ‘pure analysts’.
Then the religious groups make this point to provoke new followers. Several fundamentalist Christian organizations, as far as I heard, were planning to convert Xi Jinping into a devout, Vatican-abiding Catholic (what??). No, that’s not the supposed news. They are planning to ‘instill revolutionary spirits’, to forewarn that 2012 has come, and that the messiah will return to the world in the judgment day to ‘eliminate sinful people’, to ask followers for full repentance, to end the rule of what they call ‘atheistic government’, and install Christianity as the sole constitution, and Holy Spirit as the ‘true leader’ of the new China those Jesuit predecessors had envisioned a few centuries prior (unless I’m mistaken, there were plans to proselytize 200 million mandarins during the Qing dynasty rule).
My analysis was like this: is this another substitute for multi-level marketing (MLM)? You create a ‘product’, convince subordinates that this ‘product’ will change your life for the better, and ask the subordinates to attract more others, until the lowest levels. Well, sometimes, it’s not about the ‘belief’ they are sharing about; some people are born, instead, to make everything ‘pure business’. Even in the context of religion itself. Perhaps the media did not cover their ‘business’ activities, and focused more on their irregularities, but what made me scratch my head until this second was this: how many millions of dollars have they garnered in disseminating the ‘2012 apocalypse’ by selling books, brochures and DVDs, organizing underground ‘seminars’, preaching in front of the innocent Christians, and organizing protests? Leave these arduous tasks to the tax authorities.
Then there is this, the grandiose, personality-crisis-laden self-claiming Supreme Master Ching Hai. In the past, in my hometown, Medan, you could easily find monstrous banners and Brobdingnagian advertising boards, ‘proudly’ illustrating her Nordic-alien-like posture, filled with messages warning that the end of the world would have come in 2012, unless ‘everybody converts to veganism’. That by 2012, unless everybody stops consuming meaty creatures, the ice poles might have entirely melted, creating a series of unprecendented destruction on the fate of mankind. Well, you see, by the end of this year as well, more than 100 million tons of meat had been entangled in the world’s all-connected economic activities. I found myself so hilarious, instead of hardly believable, that continuous consumption of meat, according to this woman with an iota of scientific knowledge comparable to the size of an ant’s brain, might have generated 75-meter tsunamis and 12-Richter-scale earthquakes. That’s worth making a fantasy novel. So, as I was so dead curious of what on earth and for whose God’s sake Supreme Master Ching Hai had been doing so far, I decided to search more information in Google. The outcome was, well, surprisingly ‘normal’, like many other new-religion founders had done: she’s an ‘entrepreneur’! She set up numerous companies in United States which were engaged in vegetarian food products, and see, paradoxically speaking, expensive clothing lines and jewelry. Whereas, she ‘poises’ herself as so environmentally committed that she even illustrates herself as dozens of animals in two self-published books. Few here realize she has been primarily targeted by US authorities in suspicion of the environmental damage she had inflicted in Florida (she built a large mansion above a national park south of Miami). She was even, well, not trying to exonerate, a ‘frenetic’, avid fan of Bill Clinton (she once ‘forced’ her followers to provide political donation during Clinton’s presidential campaigns in 1997). As it turns out, ‘doomsday’ marks an epitome in her core businesses.
NB: She once prompted officials in several countries to declare a ‘Supreme Master Ching Hai Day’ in their homelands. Way so useful, only if the doomsday had really taken place.
Rather than motivate people to ultimate fear, some consider celebrating the doomsday in tones of exhilaration. Mexican government takes this momentous opportunity by actively offering tour packages to Mayan holy sites. Here, foreigners are given chances to live up to the moments of apocalypse, right in the hipocentrum of it. All the pyramid-shaped temples were in a sudden bathed in oceans of men, mostly ‘eager-to-die’ tourists. As a consequence, tourism industry grew significantly, in which an additional number of 2 million foreigners visited this country as per 2012 (surpassing the 22-million goal this year). Simply put, the Mexican government had to thank the Mayans for having invented the calendar, but most importantly, the mass media which had erroneously misinterpreted the mathematical fallacies in the Mayan calendar system as ‘the day where Earth’s crusts crack open’.
Lastly, one chic eatery in Hong Kong, Aqua, offered ‘2000-HK-dollar dinner meal packages’. As per 21 December 2012, the place had been nearly fully booked, particularly by the opulent young and the expatriates. It might be a good idea that you consume, pieces by pieces, gold-flake ice cream (if you have enough wonga) while watching the skyscrapers in Hong Kong ruin to pieces.
In addition, before 2012 totally eclipses (though 21-12-2012 has passed), let me suggest several additional ideas to ‘celebrate’ the apocalypse, either as your birthday bash, or matrimonial ceremony, or even your ‘death-defying’ festivities (only if you dare to do so)!
- Tour packages to Yellowstone National Park (and directly into the top of the volcanoes)
- Jackass-ing yourself into the Hole of Fire in Turkmenistan
- Listening nonstop to the permanent echolocation of Hell in a mining gallery in Siberia, Russia (and jump miles deep within)
- Book a flight round the Bermuda Triangle (and disappear forever)
- Convert your citizenship into South African (because Cape of Good Hope is designated ‘a new settlement of hope’ for the survivors now on board the giant arks made in China – apologies, having watched ‘2012’ too often)
In conclusion, unless the ‘real doomsday’ occurs, such ‘mock doomsdays’ are vital for your material well-being, or if anything, your ultimately promising money-guaranteed investment to time immemorial.